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How to Not Let a Divorce Affect Your Kid

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Divorce parenting

Divorce is one of the hardest things a family can go through and often requires the support of close friends and experienced lawyers like Attorney Douglas Thomas. Today, I’m not here to talk about a divorce itself, I am here to reassure you that contrary to popular belief, you can raise a happy, loved and healthy child even after a divorce. I will explain how to ensure your child takes it easy and doesn’t blame themselves for what happens.

Stay Civil

Although this tip applies even if there is no divorce involved, its importance is more after the divorce. No matter where you and your spouse stand, do not let go of positivity in front of the children. Constant arguing and backbiting can make a child feel like they have to pick sides and stop caring about the one they leave out. This should not be the case! You and your spouse need to remain civil and respectful throughout.

Keep them in the Loop

It may seem like a good idea to keep everything hush, hush and not let your child know the details but I advise you to keep them in the loop. This shows them they are important and still a part of the family. You can arrange different activities for them to keep their mind busy but do not leave them out of what is going on.

Don’t Assume the kids Understand

Read this carefully, do not assume your child will work through emotions and understand everything on their own, they will not! They may know what the general idea of a divorce entails but they will not understand why both of you are taking this decision. Sit down and talk to them, the kids need you now more than ever. Ask them how they feel, let them know how much you love them every day. Just because the parents aren’t getting along doesn’t mean your relationship with the children has to change. Explain to them whatever they want to know. If you’re not sure how,learning these few tips might help.

Be Consistent

You cannot tell your child you love them while breaking the news of a divorce. You have to be consistent in whatever you do; from attending recitals and other events to spending time with them. Just because you are getting a divorce doesn’t in any way liberate you from your child’s responsibility. Both of you are still parents and need to maintain a sense of normality in your kid’s life.

Be Considerate

This is a bit tricky but is just as important as any other tip I’ve given you. You need to be considerate of your child’s feelings and what they’re going through but at the same time, do not let it be okay for them to get away with offenses. If your child is angry or rude to you, you need to understand where it’s coming from and do not let it slide for too long. A divorce does not mean free play for your child. For instance, if your child skips school, talk to them and let them express how they’re feeling. Do not let them miss an entire week. There should be a line and you need to know where and when to draw it. Do not worry, you’ll get the hang of it.

References

https://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/inquirer/dont-assume-kids-are-cool-with-divorce-it-can-hurt-like-hell-for-decades/news-story/d83f1446afce12c2fff5ce2189832439

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/help-child-divorce.html

https://www.todaysparent.com/family/kids-and-divorce-an-age-by-age-guide/

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/kids-coping-divorce#1

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