I sit at the computer for hours a day as my kids circle me doing their thing. They eat, watch tv, play video games, walk the dogs, craft something fun and eat some more. I step away from my work because it’s time to do something together. I step away because my family is my number one priority.
I didn’t have the happiest or most fulfilling childhood. I don’t remember lots of hugs or I love yous, I don’t remember many family dinners, I don’t remember trips to the park just to play, I don’t remember soccer practice, swim lessons or play dates. My parents would disagree with me of course. We seem to have our own perception of the past.
My kids will have these memories. We take vacations and day trips just because I want them to have a good time. I want their memories to include smiles, hugs, laughs and fun. Don’t get it twisted, my kids have chores, responsibilities and days when all they seem to do is argue with each other but we live a happy and rewarding life overall.
I believe my parents did the best they knew how given the circumstances surrounding our lives. I’m learning to accept the life I had and use it as a catalyst for the parent I am today. Am I perfect? Never. I have my own faults and missteps each day but I see the bigger picture. I don’t want my children to grow up wondering where I was for special moments. I never want them to second guess my support and love. I will stand by my children every step of the way even when they fall. I will brush them off and push them forward. I will accept them for who they are and what they do.
Being a parent is the hardest job. Being responsible for another person or in our case 3 people is a heavy burden to bear some days. I tackle each day with its own set of obstacles and emotions. This is the way that works for me. Parenting is an evolving beast. It requires new rules, new viewpoints, new understanding as soon as you think you’ve mastered it.
My kids know I love them, that’s never been a issue. I want them to know I’m here for them always. I’m their support, their safety net, their crutch, their shoulder to cry on, their listening ear, their warm embrace and their rationale all wrapped into one.
