Parenting can sometimes be a task, let’s be hones, it is a task most of the times. There are wonderful moments sure, but there are so many painful and teary moments. Getting frustrated when children wouldn’t listen is really common. We always look for ways to make our children listen to us, do as we say. I am talking about tiny tots here, teenagers are a whole different topic.
Teaching them things starts from a very early age. We have to talk to them, remembering that they do not have world experience, we have to tone everything down. Some people forget this when they punish their children or get pissed about something that the child did or something that they questioned.
It is their age to be curious and also to not understand the exact implications of their words and their actions. Teaching them how some things can be insensitive, can hurt others, or themselves is important. But, simply yelling at them helps no one. Here are some things to keep in mind.
1. Be kind in your firmness
Yes, there are times when being firm with your children is important and needed. But being firm doesn’t mean you have to be rude or mean to them or shout at them. Being firm doesn’t mean raising your voice. When you do that, you are not putting your point across. The point takes a back seat and the negative feeling rises. Being kind doesn’t mean you are a pushover, it just means that you show them respect. Make them feel their opinion matters while also putting your point across and letting them know that there wouldn’t be more arguing about something.
2. Teach them why they are wrong
Have you ever wanted to do something just because you were told not to. Children are curious, a lot more than we are. When you tell them not to do something just because you told them not not. The “why” will haunt them. It is important to explain to them why something is wrong and why they shouldn’t do it. When they have answers, they won’t go out looking for it.
3. Don’t be resentful
When children continuously do something we have told them not to, or disobey us time and time again. It is natural for us to develop resentment toward them. It can then skew our judgment and give rise to anger. This is how relationships go sour. You have to learn to identify bothersome behavior and nip it in the bud so that you don’t develop a feeling of resentment against your own child.
4. Be gentle with your teachings
It is easy to get frustrated teaching something again and again. Also, when you have to teach them why something is wrong after you have yelled at them for doing it, the anger can seep into your explanation and the child will focus on the anger rather than the lesson. When you child does something that you don’t want them to you have to gently explain it to them, which also entails the point about being kind.
5. Hold their hand while they learn about life
It is inevitable that your children will have to go through life, their own set of pain, tests, disappointments. As parents we want to protect them as much as we can, but we cannot. Every person needs to learn about life themselves. What you can do is, let them make their own mistakes and learn their own lessons. Let them know that they always have you in their corner, that you are always there.
