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Still Shaken Up-the scare of losing my children

Sunday was Family Day in our household. We decided to visit a local children’s museum in the city for a change of scenery. We got there and the kids were excited and we started playing in there pretend grocery store then Shaun wanted to play soccer then Shaun and Sabreena wanted to play in there 3 story climbing/zip-line/nets/slides structure.  Rob went with them at first while I found things for Shae to do.
About 20 minutes later Rob and I switch, I go to the structure while he takes Shae into the toddler room.
I’m looking around for the kids with the camera in my hand, I immediately spot Sabreena at the highest level, crawling through a net tube.  I continue walking around and searching for the kids to take some pictures of them in action but I don’t see them.  The place was packed!!!! Kids and adults are running around everywhere and it’s super loud.

About 10 minutes go by and I still don’t see them, I go into the toddler room and give Rob the camera and tell him I can’t find the kids, I’m headed into the structure.  I start searching each level for the kids, I’m climbing and peeking through tunnels, nothing.  I wasn’t that nervous because I knew Shaun and Sabreena were together but I really wanted to see them to just feel better.  I begin to seach the rooms on each level, realistic diner, library, craft room, water room, etc, NOTHING.  I went into the expedition exhibit, it’s dark.  i call out to Shaun and out of a pitch black corner some punk kid creepily says “There’s no Shaun here”.  I got pissed at that moment and then scared.

I went down to security and gave them Shaun’s description, again I figured he was either with Sabreena or she was also looking for him.  The security agent radioed to all the staff and I continuted to look through the structure and in rooms.  I keep checking in with security but nothing.  I had officially gone into panic mode.  Tears started falling, I was getting jumpy everytime I saw a kid that remotely resembled mine, the worst thoughts were running through my mind.  I was running around this place like crazy periodically checking in with security.

I was helpless.  I thought I would never see my kids again.  I thought I failed as a mother for losing my kids. I thought how do I tell my family.

Then I get a text from Rob that he found them.   I started to cry a little more then ran to where they were.  I saw them, walked over, looked at Rob and broke down.  I know at that moment I should’ve been hugging them and thanking god but I was still so scared and upset and angry.  I couldn’t get past these feelings.  Rob kept saying it’s ok, they are fine, they are right here but I couldn’t get myself together.  Sabreena hugged me and said sorry but it took about 20 minutes to stop shaking and stop crying.  I wanted to leave but I knew it was better to just let the kids play since they were having a good time.

I truly had the worst 30 minutes of my life yesterday.  My heart goes out to anyone who has every lost a child.  I never ever want to feel like that again.