Our only son Shaun who is 7 cries all of the time. He cries when you tell him what we are having for dinner. He cries when you tell him to drink water. He cries when you tell him he can only have one topping on his ice cream. He cries when you tell him it’s bed time. He cries when….ok I think you get the picture. I have NO clue why he cries so much. Is it a boy thing? I am only asking because Sabreena our now 15 year old daughter never cried as much as Shaun. I don’t think Shae who is 3 cries as much as Shaun. It is really baffling to me. It doesn’t matter if you are nice or mean he cries either way.
It is so frustrating and it drives Melinda and I nuts. It’s so out of hand lately and we have no clue what to do so he won’t cry.
Do you have any boys and if so do you have any advise? Heck, even if you don’t have any boys but have any advise we’ll take it.
My son is 6 and he is hyper emotional. He gets his feelings hurt often. He cries a lot. Sometimes he has a reason and sometimes he just cries.
I think it has something to do with being in that “in between” stage. He’s not a baby or a toddler, but not an adolescent yet. He’s still learning how to express himself and his feelings.
I don’t know what to do to help. I just wanted you to know you weren’t alone.
Thanks for sharing. We really need to find a sloutuion and fast as it is soooo frustrating at times.
My son was the same exact way and cried about everything. It finally got to the point that when he cried and we were home, I made him go to his room and shut the door until he was finished crying. He wasn’t allowed to play with his toys or video games. He just had to sit on this bed or chair until he was ready to come out tear free. This may not be something you want to do but it is really frustrating, especially when it’s for no reason. My son eventually got tired of being in his room by his self all the time missing out on what was going on in the rest of the house that he sucked it up and no longer cried every time he felt like it.
My son is 11 now and he’s still really sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily but he finally grew out of the crying all the time.
We do send him to his room but we need to make it a point to do so everytime he cries over nothing. Maybe this would help. At this point I am willing to try anything. Thanks for sharing!
our son is almost 2 (will be next month) would love to offer advice, but really do not know, as this is my fist baby! lol
good luck
Thanks. Good Luck to you as well.
My son is 8 and our first child, and angel. Never cries, never really has. Our daughter is 3, our second and final child. Cries constantly. For everything seriously. It drives me absolutely insane, and I have to tell her to go cool down in her room, before talking to her about what is upsetting her. Her answer is usually along the lines of I wanted that, or you didn’t let me. Good luck!
We are in the same boat. Sabreena (15 yr old) never cried but Shaun watch out. LOL. Not sure how Shae (3yr old) is going to be but I hope more like Sabreena then Shaun!
Here’s my suggestion (my nephew went through the same thing and is still a little sensitive). Let your son know that emotions are wonderful things and it’s okay to cry if you are sad, or even if you are super happy – but you can no longer take his crying over every little thing that happens in his life. It’s too disruptive to everyone and gets everyone upset as well – and that’s not how you all want this family to run. SO if he CHOOSES to continue to cry over what Mom & Dad deem as ‘nothing’ then he will have to go to his room until such time as he is done crying and wants to rejoin the family. This way you validate his emotions, explain why it is not great behavior and you tell him up front what the consequences will be if he continues.
Do this in a talk with him – not when you are angry or frustrated with him, but maybe man to man. Now, he may cry during the talk, and that’s okay. But let him know that when he acts in this manner he will be told to go to his room to cry and that he is not to fight your request. Then do it EVERY time he starts up. it will decrease the incidents and save the household peace.
Good luck!
Thanks for this awesome advice. I am going to have this talk today and see where is goes from here. Hopefully the crying will decrease some over time.
I don’t think it is a boy thing.
You might want to make sure his diet is really healthy-get rid of the processed foods and have as near natural as possible. Vitamins such as B complex , D and magnesium are excellent.
Lots of times it has to do with diet I feel.
I am no doctor but this is what I find helps us from physical to mental health.
Maybe we need to start by giving Shaun a daily multi vitamin. Thanks for the advice.
If he’s just crying, and not ‘acting out’ otherwise. Ignore it. Feeding into it in ANY WAY (giving the child ANY added attention-even if it’s negative attention- will ONLY ENCOURAGE IT). Isolating a child can send a negative message (i.e. I only want to deal with you when you bottle up your emotions. This can lead to a LOT of problems later, both for you and your relationship, and for the boy when he becomes a man.)
Any attention will only encourage it further. There is no need to punish or isolate the child. Simply ignore it. I know it’s easier said than done, but when it clicks that this behavior doesn’t elicit what he wants, he will stop doing it.
I know it’s very frustrating.
As for being a ‘boy thing’. Definitely NOT. More than likely, it’s simply a stage and he will outgrow it.
Ignore it? Man that is hard. LOL.
Most of life is like this. LOL. We know what we should do, but it’s usually the hard road.
I come from the last generation where a lot of stuff was socially acceptable, and it’s colored a lot of my views on parenting. Most would probably view me as a hardass, so if I’M the one saying that punishment or isolating is the wrong road, it should tell you how strongly I feel.
Consequences work well. For ex. If he cries when told he can have one ice cream topping, he gets NO ice cream. Ice cream is a treat. Basically, for things that are rewards, remove the reward if there are tears. This establishes a VERY QUICK learning curve. ‘If I do X, there will be a result.’
And it’s not punishment. Things like TV, video games, and ice cream are treats afterall.
Isolating a child teaches them to withdraw. As it’s clearly a kind of punishment, the message is I don’t want to deal with some of your emotions. The child hears, ‘If you feel upset, keep it to yourself.’…they does not hear, ‘If you are upset, go to your room if it is about X, Y, Z. If it’s about A, B, C, it’s ok to stay.’
If you think explaining how YOU feel about his crying is difficult, try verbalizing to a 7-year old every situation and variable where his crying is acceptable, and he that he shouldn’t keep it to himself under CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES. Most children don’t understand their own behavior, it is just a natural action.
Long of writing to simply say, you want to curb the action, not the child.
Thanks for the advice. It is so hard for me to take stuff away because then I feel I am being mean. Maybe this is why Shaun cries the way he does. Who knows!
Matthew who is 7 as well goes through episodes of crying at everything too. But, his isn’t constant, it comes and goes. My hubby can’t stand it and tells him to suck it up, buttercup….doesn’t work – he just cries more.
If he gets hurt, he tries really hard not to cry, he wouldn’t want other boys to see him crying!
Shaun is the same way. He will hold it in a run home and cry before he cries in front of the kids in the neighborhood but at home he doesn’t care who he cries in from of.
I like the suck it up buttercup but that would make Shaun cry harder as well. LOL.
Two years ago I thought I was completely alone in this. Right around 6/7 my son became an emotional nightmare, crying at least a dozen times a day of the littlest things. Two years later he’s now 9 and it hasn’t let up too much yet. I heard from a few other moms their boys were like this too. We’re hard asses and don’t give into the cries, but it doesn’t seem to change anything. sigh.
We aren’t hard asses and that doesn’t help either so now I really don’t know what to do. LOL. All I have right now is sending him to his room until he stops crying cause when he cries in the same room I am in for no reason it drives me to drink (not literally)!
Have you got those wailing cries that sound like an ambulance yet? Those are fun and WILL drive you to drink. We got one of those the other day because we asked him to zip his coat before going outside. Fun times!
No, we haven;t gotten that yet and I hope we never do either. LOL.
Our 5 year old daughter does the exact same thing. She cries over every little bump or bruise, she cries over things that make her sad or happy, and whether she gets her way or not. She has sometimes asked for something and started crying before I could even answer, regardless if I was going to say yes or no. It drives my husband and myself nuts! I try to get down on her level and ask her what’s wrong, but she’s usually crying too hard to explain herself. I make her take deep breaths over and over until she’s calm enough to talk. If she doesn’t calm down, I ask her to go to her room until she’s ready to have a conversation. We don’t give in to her if she’s crying to get what she wants, so I don’t understand why she continues. I don’t think we’ve done anything to reinforce it, but I guess some kids are crybabies. My 1 year old toddler is as happy as can be, but I worry how she’ll be when she gets older. AND I worry if my oldest daughter’s habits will rub off on her. Hopefully our kids are just a bit more sensitive than others and will grow out of the “crying over absolutely everything in their worlds” stage. Good luck with Shaun 🙂
Thanks, a lot of what you described is what Shaun does. We can usually calm him down pretty quickly though and that is probably because he is older and can control it better then if he was younger but it is still a challenge. Good luck with your two!
Have you asked him what he is feeling at these times? Maybe you need to give him the words to express himself to overcome the crying thing.Lots of times they are overwhelmed and don’t know how to state what they are feeling. Maybe a feelings chart. I just saw one with emoticons that could be useful.
No, he usually cried when you tell him no or when he doesn’t get his way but maybe asking him why he is feeling a certain way will help. Something we might need to try.
Our 7 year old cries too much also. He won’t like something his brother is doing so he’ll start crying. He won’t like what I’m serving for dinner and he starts crying. He won’t like that I won’t let him use the computer at the moment so he’ll start crying about being bored. (Nevermind the piles of toys, recorded Tv shows, games, etc all about.) We tell him to calm down. If he doesn’t, we send him to his room so he can calm down there. That works most times.
I have a 9 year old that does the same thing and 7 and 3 year old girls who don’t do that (well the 3 year old does it a little), but not as much as the 9 year old. I’m at a loss myself. We ignore him until he stops crying and we always bring it to his attention. I tell him it hurts my ears and I can’t laten until he stops but he says he just can’t. He can’t seem to control his emotions at all. He also angers very easily. I’m actually looking on-line to see if I should take him to a therapist of some kind. Not sure what to do. He does it with is friends to and so there are only a few boys that will play with him. It’s sad really.
I really thought I was alone. My boy is 4 and it really got worse lately. He cries for everything and cries all the time. It drives me crazy. We have tried every suggestion here but no results. He gets mad very easiler. I gave him chocolate milk this morning and he said that the milk is not brown enough and start to cry…imagine I have to get him and his baby brother ready to daycare and me ready to get to work in the morning…frustrated.