If your family is like mine you are busy from the time you wake up until the time you go to sleep. Life is so busy with work, the kids, sports practice you lose focus on the most important thing you have, FAMILY. It is very easy to let life and family spin out of control even though everything on the surface looks fine. If this sounds like your family you need to read Your Family Constitution by Scott Gale. Scott Gale talks about his life and how he was able to make a change for the better by using a Family Constitution. This book will give you a lot of very valuable ideas and suggestions to get you and your family back on track. The cover of the book says it all, Your Family Constituiton is a modern approach to family values and household structure. Every family deserves to have values and structure.
Scott Gale describes what he calls Black Sunday which occured on Mother’s Day 2007 for the creation of the Family Constitution. He goes into detail on how he and his nine year old son Jack had a falling out causing his family to hit rock bottom. Your Family Constitution then goes into why his family hit rock bottom and all of the work it took and many drafts of his Family Constitution to get his family back to the place where they belonged, Peace. He described how difficult is can be to recover once you hit rock bottom but there is hope and it can be done.
My kids have chores and responsibilities but Melinda and I are very loose with the punishment if these chores and responsibilities are not done. I tend to yell and make empty threats about how they will be grounded for a week only to let them off punishment the very next day. Yelling causes tension and resentment and does not create a great family dynamic. Currently we have a big problem with Shaun and homework. Like I mentioned in an earlier post he still is not in the swing of school so anytime homework needs to be done it is a battle. He cries and wines when we make him read the homework directions because he says it will take him to long to read them. He cries before he even makes an attempt at doing his homework which is the most frustrating thing. Melinda and I tend to get frustrated with the homework process which only causes Shaun to cry so we yell about him crying which only make him cry harder.
I realized something needed to be done ASAP before our problems got too far out of control and that is where Your Family Constitution came to the rescue. After reading this book by Scott Gale I realized we have the same problems as I am sure most parents do and that is getting our kids to listen and do what they are told. Reading this book made me really look at myself as a father and parent on how I interact and discipline my children. I realized I yell entirely too much and yelling gets nothing resolved. It only makes the house tense and the kids more defiant. After reading this book Melinda and I have implemented a chore chart so the kid’s chores were laid out with consequences if they were not done. If a chore is missed the first time they lose half of their weekly allowance, second time they lose their entire weekly allowance and a third time they lose all screen time (meaning TV, computer and all electronics like the DS and iPod). This is a fairly new process so I do not have a lot of feedback on how the process is going so far but I am optimistic and have a good feeling.
We have started a three step process with Shaun and his homework. He was told he needs to do his homework daily with no crying or whining. For the first infraction he gets a warning, the second infraction he gets a five minute timeout in the corner, and the third time he loses all screen time for 1 day. We implemented this last week and it seemed to work during the later part of the week. I feel as the weeks go on Shaun will know the rules and what will happen if they are broken and slowly this problem will go away.
I am hoping since reading Your Family Constitution and implementing rules and consequences my kids will now know what needs to be done and what is expected of them on a daily basis. I am also hoping this will ease the chore and homework tension allowing us to have a less stressful household. I will keep everyone posted.
Scott Gale the author of Your Family Constitution has been generous enough to give 1 copy of his book away to one lucky Look What Mom Found…and Dad too! reader. Go to Your Family Constitution and tell me how you think this book would help you and your family.
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Your entries must follow the rules or they won’t be eligible for prizes. This contest ends 11:59 pm, Friday, September 25, 2009. Winners will be announced and emailed and will have 48 hours to claim prize. This contest is open to US residents.
