We know that the best dad jokes are often so bad that they are so good. We laugh at how bad the joke is. Every dad makes jokes that they find funny and we laugh because of either how unfunny it is or how cleverly stupid it is.
They have jokes for every occasion and every event. I took the liberty of compiling some best dad jokes and riddles for the occasion of birthdays. If you are a dad and have exhausted all the jokes you have, then here are some good ones for you to have a crack at.
Jokes
- When you were born your mom said: “It’s a treasure.”
I said: “Ya let’s bury.”
- My son wants a new iPhone for his 16th birthday.
I said, ‘No problem! Just get good grades, do the chores, and follow the rules I set.”
Otherwise, he’s getting a cheap phone. Around here it’s my way or the Huawei.
- My wife isn’t talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday. I’m not sure how. I didn’t even know it was her birthday.
- For my wife’s birthday, I bought her a fridge freezer. I know it’s not much, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.
- Every year on my birthday, I would look forward to receiving a handmade scarf or hat from my favorite aunt Eloise.
Well, she must have had been pretty preoccupied this year because when my package arrived in the mail as it has for the past 27 years, it contained a couple of balls of yarn, a set of knitting needles, and a how-to book on knitting.
The card attached simply said, “Scarf. Some assembly required.”
- Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
- With my wife’s birthday coming up, I asked her what she would like for a present.
‘I don’t know honey,’ she said. ‘I would love something with diamonds.’
And so I gave her a deck of playing cards…
- Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents named him Sudden Lee.
- You so ugly, your mama had morning sicknesses after you were born.
- I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you’re set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you.
- I used to be a boy trapped in a woman’s body. But after 9 long months, I was finally born!
Riddles
- What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex? Wait until it’s born.
- What does a turtle do on his birthday? Shell-a-brate.
- Why don’t owls exchange birthday gifts? They don’t give a hoot!
- Did you hear about the birthday boy who swung his bat 100 times before finally hitting the piñata? He really busted his ass!
- What do you call it when you give a child a training toilet for her birthday? A surprise potty!
- What did the bald guy say upon receiving a comb for his birthday? “Thanks, I’ll never part with it.”
- What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake? “No thanks, I’m too stuffed.”
- What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake.
- What do you say to a female sheep on her birthday? Happy birthday to ewe!
- What do you say to a Mexican sheep on his birthday? Fleece cumpleaños!
- What type of birthday cake did Peter Pan get? A pan-cake!
