It’s never been truer that adults of any age can successfully go back to school. Online learning platforms provide a level of flexibility that didn’t exist even ten years ago.
But while the opportunities may be more ample than they were before, that’s not the same thing as saying that the experience is easy. There are financial obstacles, time management concerns, and also just emotional challenges that can interfere with the learning process.
In this article, we take a comprehensive view of how going back to school can be difficult as a parent and what you can do to manage the stress.
The Pressure of Being Present
One of the biggest obstacles that parents returning to school will face? Emotional bandwidth. You know, as a busy mom or dad, that the most important role you have, no matter what, is taking care of your family.
And with this knowledge, an uncomfortable and often unclear question emerges: In what ways do you need to prioritize taking care of them? You care directly for your children by giving them time and attention, and by catering to their seemingly endless needs.
But there are other forms of nurturing that are of equal importance. You need to provide for them financially. You also need to provide for them by making choices that support your role as a balanced, well-rounded individual.
If you’re working in a job you hate right now, you might be experiencing elements of stress that bleed into family life.
Similarly, if you’re not meeting your earning potential in a way that has created financial hardship for your family, you might also feel an element of tension in how you are caring for your children in that regard.
The difficult thing is that going back to school will create some form of acute stress within your family dynamic.
Either you’ll have less time and attention for your children, which is obviously not something that any parent wants, or you’ll continue in your usual role and sacrifice attending to your own needs.
This can create hardship down the line as well, sometimes in ways that bleed into family life through added stress and anxiety.
No one can keep all of the burners on constantly. As a parent, you need to prioritize balance.
That could mean asking for help in your child care responsibilities. It could also mean accepting a slower educational timeline than you might prefer so that you can avoid interrupting your parental responsibilities. Neither choice is easy.
In the face of tension, it’s important to remember that the discomfort of going back to school is acute, while the benefits of getting a new degree are permanent.
Impostor Syndrome
Perhaps less alarming than the feeling that you’re undeserving of your children is the still-often unnerving feeling that you’re occupying an environment not designed to accommodate you.
Many people who go back to school in their thirties find themselves in classrooms, virtual or literal, filled with teenagers. That’s a sometimes uncomfortable position to be in.
It’s important in this regard to remember that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be and that your presence in the classroom is just as justified as anyone else’s.
Constant Unquenchable Anxiety
Hey, we’ve all been there, right? When you’re busier than you’ve ever been in your adult life and facing the feeling that you have more responsibilities than you do time in the day, it’s a tough situation to be in.
There are ways to manage anxiety in the context of education. One is to scale back your workload.
While you might want to pursue your degree as aggressively as possible to shorten your enrollment time, sustainability also needs to be taken into consideration.
Five years spent working slowly but comfortably on a degree will most likely be better for your family than two years of stress and chaos.
It’s also important to integrate self-care into your routine as much as possible. Focus on holistic activities that reduce cortisol and put more gas in your tank.
Exercise, time outside, reading instead of social media—these are proven techniques for finding balance and controlling anxiety.
Choose the Right Format
There are certain elements of continuing your education that are out of your control, and others that can be tailored toward your circumstances.
The format you select will have an enormous impact on what going back to school feels like for you.
Online learning is a flexible option that can be applied to undergraduate and graduate programs. Whether you are getting a master’s of teaching degree, a nursing certification, or anything else in between, there should be a regionally accredited online option available to you.
One of the cool things about online learning is that the coursework is often available in a pre-recorded format that allows you to work at your own pace.
This can be enormously beneficial to busy parents who don’t necessarily always have the ability to meet Tuesday night at 7, for example.
In pre-recorded formats, you’re given a month’s worth of work to complete by a specific due date.
As long as you get everything in on time, you’re free to work when it’s convenient for you. Now, you still need to find time to fit the assignments into your schedule, but this added level of flexibility means that you won’t have to necessarily sacrifice your child’s soccer game or date night with your partner for the sake of the class.
No matter what format you choose, remember that sustainability is key. You need to pick a learning environment that you can commit to in the long run.
Accelerated programs are attractive, and they can be the right fit for some people, but at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter how quickly you get the degree.
Your experience right now, today, is important. You should pick a program that fits neatly into the greater context of your life. It’s good for you. It’s even better for your family.
