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The Pressure is Getting To Me

my BIG little boy

Shaun is the youngest boy out of all his friends. I think because of his size his friends forget this and he feels pressured to do the things they do.  He’s always asking to do things I think he’s just too young to do. The other day he comes running in the house begging me to let him walk to the store with 2 of the boys in the neighborhood. He’s walked there before with Sabreena so it’s not about him not knowing where to go its more like the way and with who that’s the biggest problem.

The other 2 boys are about 10 years old, Shaun is 7. The one boy is not my favorite kid, he’s a bit of a bully and definitely a smart ass. The other kid is great, he’s polite, sweet and just goes with the flow like Shaun. The store itself isn’t far at all, maybe a 3 minute walk but the way to get there is on a 2 lane road with no sidewalk.

Again, he’s walked it before and knows to walk on the grass and watch for cars but I’m scared he’s gonna make that one wrong step or get a little to close to the road or goof off just a bit too much or be in the wrong spot at the wrong time. He begged and begged and said “My friends want to go buy a snack”, “Can’t I just walk with them”, “Why can’t I ever go” so I broke down. I told him fine but come back home as soon as your done so I know your safe.

He didn’t. I happened to be looking out of the window and saw them come back into the neighborhood and he didn’t come home first. I was mad but relived he was fine.

I don’t know how much more I can let him do. That was about my limit. He’s 7, he’s still little, at least to me.



  1. My daughter is 8, she is the youngest in her class. Due to her bday she should be in 2nd grade, but at age 4 she tested smart enough to go to 1st grade, we let her go to Kindergarten fearing too much of a skip would be not okay emotionally even though educational wise she could handle it. She is 8 going on 13, so smart knows so much. Is big for her age. It’s hard to explain why she cant’ do things some of the other kids are doing, I feel bad but I don’t think I’d let her walk to the store. I don’t know. I am laid back but protective in some ways. I could see in this case 7 and 10 year olds, I probably would have let him especially since he knew the walk already. Glad he made it home safe. You are doing a great job!

  2. i agree… he’s still little. i would have had a hard time letting jack go if it were him in the situation. i probably wouldn’t have said yes. ((hug)) mama…. it’s hard to let them grow up!

  3. Melin – you know I’m probably Moni part 2. I can’t even think about the first time Marco asks me to walk around to WaWa with friends or by himself. He’ll be like 14 (Micky) when I let him..LOL.

  4. Melissa, I think you should stick to your instincts that are saying Shaun is too young for some of these things. Imagine how you’d feel if you gave in and something happened! Explain to Shawn that it’s your job as a mom who loves him very much to keep him safe, and that’s why you have to say “no” sometimes. It’s not because you’re trying to be mean; it’s because you love him. Offer him an alternative, like taking him someplace else that he likes to go. Sometimes, we have to be a little unpopular with our kids to do our job. I hate disappointing my kids, but I feel better knowing that I’m doing it for their own good. And they will get over it. I can’t think of a single thing I’m mad at my mom for doing when I was seven, and I’m sure our kids’ unhappiness about our decisions at the same age won’t last either!

  5. Oops, I’m so sorry, Melinda! I just realized that I called you Melissa. That’s my son’s girlfriend’s name, so I’ve always got it stuck in my head. I’ve called another Melinda I know by the wrong name, too! I’m really sorry.

  6. Melissa P. @Mel4Him says

    I think you are doing the right thing. My son is 8 1/2 and will be 9 in February and I will not even allow him to play out in the front of our house. There is just too many crazy’s in this world including younger children who like to bully other kids. I have neighbors who have kids like that. The guardians of these children let them do whatever they want and I can’t even tell you the kind of trouble they have gotten themselves into as well as the things that they have done to my property, etc. Not good. While I think it is important for a child to establish independence, and responsibility, I think there is a balance and a right way to do it. Roaming the streets is not one of them. You did the right thing and I think it is important that your son respects you and your decision whether he understands it or not. You are a great mom. You do what you know in your heart is right and stand your ground.

  7. Melissa P. @Mel4Him says

    Also, even though you did give in under pressure, you set rules. And you seen first hand that your son wasn’t ready because he didn’t follow that one simple rule. God gave us motherly instincts for a reason we just have to listen to them. Mothers just know, you know. : )

  8. I have to say, go with your gut. You know your kid, you know the other kids. When we give in like this it allow the kids to come back at us with, “why not, you let us do it before”. I’ve had to deal with that! I wouldn’t let my son, who is 11 go out on the main road here under any circumstances with the neighbor boys, who are minimum 1 yr younger than him. And it’s not because of my son, but because of the choices he might make while with those kids. A bad influence is a bad influence. Not worth taking a chance with our kids, especially with their lives. I mean, something could happen when he’s with Sabreena because kids will be kids. I just don’t know. I’m with ya sister! I can tell you, I wouldn’t let Doodle, who’s 7 walk 3 blocks even with his brother to the store. It would totally freak me out. I think it’s more about their “maturity” level and ability to make decisions they’re not ready for. Sorry, I could go on and on with my “opinions”. Just a mother’s heart relating to yours. =)

  9. You’re honestly nicer than me. I would’ve said no and let him have a fit or something. I’m so paranoid, I’m totally starting to understand why my mom followed me and my friends around the mall (without me knowing it at the time) when I was 11.

  10. Momma Cupcake says

    My daughters are 2 & 3. I’m not going to let them date until they are 79. Yo.

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