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Trying To Be The Best Dad I Can


Sometimes it is hard to believe that I am a dad. Not only a dad but a dad to an awesome 13, 6 and 2 year old.

When I was growing up I had a shitty childhood and shitty parents. I know this is not nice to say about my parents but it is 100% the truth. Actually it was just my mom because my father was to much of a coward to stick around and do the right thing and be a father to his only son. Growing up I wondered if I would ever have kids. If I would be emotionally fit for kids. A shitty childhood will mess with your head and emotions as you get older and really make you think about what kind of person you will turn out to be. It will make you question if you are fit to be with others and if you are fit to take care of another human being.

When I met Melinda eight years ago Sabreena our oldest was just about to turn 5 years old. I wasn’t sure what kind of father figure I could be for her. I was 27 years old and immature as hell. I had one serious relationship that ended badly and a bunch of other short crappy relationships. I wouldn’t say that I had a great track record at being there for people.

After meeting Melinda I realized that I could do this. I could be a father to Sabreena and take over where her father dropped the ball because he was to much of a coward to set up. At this point I realized I wanted to try my best to be better then my father and her father. I wanted to have a relationship with Sabreena that was loving. I am not saying I am the best father by any means.

She is 13 now and I do find it difficult to talk to her sometimes and not because anything she did wrong. I find sometimes I have a hard time interacting with my kids because my parents were never there for me. They never laid the foundation on how parents should interact with their kids because they never interacted with me. I try not to use this as a crutch but believe me your childhood will effect who you are as an adult. If you had no love growing up it is hard to show love to others. My kids mean the world to me. I am scared as hell to die but if it came down to me or my kids there are no questions asked I am the one going. This is how much my kids mean to me.

I love my kids and I know I have a hard time showing it. I think they know I love them but I need to work on actually showing it more and fostering the best loving house that I can.

I find myself joking alot with my kids because in my head humor is the only thing I feel that I have. I find it hard to show emotions but I feel I am getting better but I have my days were it is hard.

I feel I have come a long way in 8 years as a father. In the beginning I didn’t think fatherhood was in my future but I meet Melinda and Sabreena and that all changed.

I can’t imagine my life without my kids, they are truly awesome. Yes they are a pain sometimes, test me, cry and just frustrate the hell out of me but at the end of the day my kids have made me a good dad and better human being.

This is one of a million reasons why I am proud to be a dad:

Sorry for getting so serious today but after watching the above video of Shae it just made me realize I love my life and wouldn’t want it any other way.

Head over to Dad Blogs and check out the other cool moms and dads on this Fatherhood Friday.

Have a great weekend and be sure to kiss your kids and show them all of the love you can!!!!!!

Fatherhood Friday – Summer’s Over

I don’t know about you but for me it seemed like summer flew by. It feels like just last week it was Christmas and now Christmas is only four months away (sorry, getting off track, LOL). Time sure does fly by.

With summer coming to a close that means school is about to start. My oldest Sabreena is going into the 8th grade (wow, will get back to this later) and my middle child Shaun is starting 1st grade. School starts on Monday the 31st so to celebrate the end of the summer we are having a pizza party for the kids on our street. There are maybe 10-12 kids on our street and they play together almost daily. Shaun typically goes outside around 10am and comes it at dinner time with a short lunch break. Unfortunatly there are not as many teenagers so Sabreena was a little bored this summer. She went to the mall, movies and over to friends but not that often.

I would say the summer was pretty low key for the kids this year. For the past 2-3 years Sabreena has gone to Vegas to stay with a family friend for 2 weeks up to a month. She didn’t go to Vegas this year and to tell you the truth I have no idea why not. We did go to Ocean City, NJ at the end of July for a week long family vacation and we had a BLAST but it ended way to fast like they always do. All in all summer was good. The kids played and Melinda and I worked. Guess that is how it is suppose to be, LOL.

I know Melinda is glad that the kids are going back to school because she has to deal with them all day since she is home. I am sure with both of them going back to school the house will become a little more quiet until 3pm when they arrive home from school. I can now reclaim my napping spot on the couch since they are back to school, that is AWESOME!!! So now on to a new journey called set bed time and wake up time, daily homework and soccer practice and games. Now that I think about it I guess I was sort of on summer vacation in a way too since I didn’t have to worry about the homework and everything associated with school.

The kids enjoy school which is a good thing but I can’t believe that Sabreena is 13 and in the 8th grade and my baby boy is starting 1st grade. WOW. Blows my mind.

Head over to Dad Blogs to check out other awesome dads and moms. Happy Friday and have a great weekend.

Kids Grow Up So Fast

TGIF all and welcome to another edition of Fatherhood Friday sponsored by Dad Blogs. If you have never been to Dad Blogs go over now (well, after you read my post) and check out all the cool dads and moms and leave some comment love.

I have been away from Fatherhood Friday for a few weeks now and I want to apologize to everyone. It has been super busy with work and vacation but I am back and this week I am going to talk about kids and how they grow up way to fast.

I think I might have already done a post on this topic but after my wife shot the videos below last night I needed to discuss it again.

My baby Shae will be 2 years old August 13th and I am stunned how fast 2 years has gone by. Seriously I remember the day my wife and I went to the hospital only to be sent home due a false alarm and then return 1 week later for the real deal. I remember the first time I held Shae in my arms at the hospital the first time Shae rolled over on her own, etc I could go on forever. The point is DAM time flies.

Shae can now count to 20, say her ABC’s, sing songs and even asks to watch iCarley (which she calls I Charlie) on TV. Where the heck did 2 years go and when did my baby start to become so smart. I mean it seems like overnight all of these little things start to happen and before I knew it she was walking, talking, singing and eating on her own at the dinner table. She is starting to grow up which saddens me. Don’t get me wrong I like the fact that she is closer to being out of diapers, not up all hours of the night but I miss my little tiny baby girl. I do love the fact that when I ask for a kiss she will run over and give me a kiss which is very cool.

I know growing up is life but dam sometimes it is hard to see. I like to look back at pictures of when my kids were just babies and live in the past for a little while. Everyone have a good Friday and a great weekend!!!!