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Modern Mom Problems

Similar to #FirstWorldProblems us smartphone carrying, minivan driving, Pinterest browsing mamas have our own issues to deal with each day as we tackle the world with kids in tow, errands to run and mani/pedis to schedule.

  • The car dealer moved my seat when they changed the oil in my car.
  • My Skinny Soy Vanilla Chai Latte has too much foam.
  • It’s Saturday night and we’re down to 1 bottle of Moscato.
  • The Blow Dry Bar is booked till Tuesday.
  • The Zoya nail color I just bought clashes with my new lip gloss.
  • Instagram keep shutting down so I can’t share my photo of the long line at Target.
  • It’s only Thursday and I’m out of yoga pants.
  • It’s so much work to put cases on my goose down pillows.
  • I couldn’t DVR the new episode of Scandal because there were already 2 other shows recording.
  • The dishwasher wasn’t run last night so now I have to hand wash the cereal bowls.
  • The phone battery was low when I went to story time at the library so I had to read a magazine
  • I unsubscribed from a newsletter only to get another email confirming my unsubscribe.

If you take offense to any of these then it’s time to take a look at the world you live in an your priorities. I recognize my pettiness and selfishness and can easily poke fun at myself. You should be able to do the same.


You Know Its Summer When

A little bit of summer humor - Just a heads up that you're running out of time to invite me to your summer house this weekend. - There's no stronger sunscreen than sitting in a bar. - I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summertime. - This record-breaking heat makes it even harder than usual to be fat - May the inherent stress and peril of unfolding a beach chair not sabotage your plans to relax this summer

When Table Manners Go Wrong

We’ve always been sticklers for table manners. We usually eat together as a family and wait for everyone to be home unless there are extraordinary circumstances. We use please and thank you when asking for things across the table and we try to stay seated until everyone is done. One thing that I really enforce is waiting till everyone is seated before we start eating. This means no picking at your plate and grabbing bites as we take plates over. Mistakes happen but as a whole we are pretty good at this rule. This is what happens when we take the rule so literal, it takes forever to actually eat dinner.

This was taken 12/2009, Sabreena was 13, Shaun was 6 and Shae was 2. They have always had great senses of humor but I may have created some lil monsters here.

It wasn’t hers in the first place

She’s cute with her cute little mug isn’t she. It’s technically not her mug though, it was mine that somehow became Sabreena’s.

Over the summer Sabreena and her friends had a tea party and each person had to provide their own cup/mug. She brought one of ours. She asked for permission, I consented; all was good with the world. Fast forward 3-4-5 months and my mug is still missing. You see, last fall I got the opportunity to work with Oneida and received and all new dinnerware. I’ve always wanted stark white dishes and bowls and love love love the sets I received.

white dishes in a cupboard

we actually don't even use the white mugs

Yesterday I come home from getting my haircut and Rob has greeted me at the stairs with my mug in his hand.

Me: Ooooooh, My mug 🙂 Then he turns it around to show me the mustache

Me: What the FCUK!!!!!

Rob(giggling the whole time): Felicia (Sabreena’s friend) decided to paint a mug for each of her friends for Christmas. Since she already had one to give back to Sabreena she decided to use this one.

Me: I’m going to kick her ass.

Sabreena then informs us that the mug has been sitting in her room tucked away for about 2 weeks. She said she forgot about it but I think she was scared shitless about my reaction. I was bummed for a second but quickly laughed it off. It turned out cute and we know Felicia’s intentions were in the right place.

Shaun came home to see Shae drinking out of the mug and instantly said he wanted one too. Maybe Felicia will make us a couple more.

I Disclose

Instant Doggy Door Tutorial

I’m crafty!  Today I’m going to show you how to make your own doggy door. It’s really quite simple and just takes a couple minutes and some needed supplies.

  • 1 Standard Screen Door
  • 1 Hyper Active, Jumptastic, Super Excited Dog

Let the dog outside. Close the screen door. Let an infrequent visitor; in our case my mother, walk into the house. Be sure the dog gets a glimpse of her and let him plow right through the screen. Viola, instant doggy door.

instant doggy door

dog ripping though screen door
Easy Peasy

I Disclose

What’s So Funny?

Because kids love JOKES…
Here’s a list of some of our kids favorite jokes. They are all clean and safe for kids so please share with your own kids 🙂

Q. Where do cows like to go on dates?
A. The moooooooo-vies!

Q. What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge door?
A. Shut the door, I’m dressing!

Q. What do you call a cow with no feet?
A. Ground Beef!

Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A bulldozer!

Q. Why do fish live in salt water?
A. Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Q. Why is it so hard to play poker in the jungle?
A. Because there are so many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A. He wanted his quarterback.

Q. What did the egg say to the other egg?
A. Let’s get cracking!

Q. How do you stop an Elephant from charging?
A. Take away his credit cards!

Q. What is the strongest animal?
A. A snail; he carries his house on his back.

Q. Why was the broom late?
A. He over-swept!

Q. What does a tree do when he’s ready to go home?
A. He leaves!

Knock Knock!
Who’s There?
Who who?
What are you, an owl?

Knock Knock!
Who’s There?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo, owls go who!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Radio who?
Radi-o not, here I come!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Queen who?
Queen as a whistle!

Knock Knock
Who’s there!
Dozen who?
Dozen anyone want to let me in!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Omelet who?
Omelet smarter than I look!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Water who?
Water you doing in my house?

I Disclose

I Don’t Miss These Moments

Since I was the Stay At Home Mom it was primarily my job to handle nighttime feedings. I had the whole schedule down. The pillows would be arranged in the right spot to support my arms and back, the bottles were always premade in the fridge and the tv remote was handy as was the notebook and pen to track time and ounces consumed.

While I was organized to make 3 am feedings effortless that didn’t mean they were easy. I often feel asleep during the feeding only to find a zonked out but soaking wet baby in my arms. The worst moments were when I just gave up the organization and stayed in the rocking chair with the baby and slept straight through to the next feeding.
Evenflo has been bringing humor to the plight of parenthood and compiling some statistics so we all know we aren’t battling alone.

  • 27% of moms are so tired that they’re actually concerned they might fall asleep during the feeding itself. Thirty-five percent of women surveyed admitted to waiting only about 10 minutes after feeding (vs. the recommended 20) to lay their babies back down if they hadn’t burped, and an additional 23% say they were too tired and waited only a few minutes.
  • a whopping 74% of moms reported the responsibility lay with them, while only 5% reported having a set schedule with their spouse to share the responsibility.

While Rob may not have been big at nighttime bottles he’s making up for it now with the kids early morning wake up call on the weekends. The one trait that I don’t mind them getting from him is the ability to rise at the first show of sunlight; that’s only because Rob does the same thing.  How did you handle the dreaded nighttime feedings?  Got stories or advice to share?



I Disclose