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What’s So Funny?

Because kids love JOKES…
Here’s a list of some of our kids favorite jokes. They are all clean and safe for kids so please share with your own kids 🙂

Q. Where do cows like to go on dates?
A. The moooooooo-vies!

Q. What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge door?
A. Shut the door, I’m dressing!

Q. What do you call a cow with no feet?
A. Ground Beef!

Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A bulldozer!

Q. Why do fish live in salt water?
A. Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Q. Why is it so hard to play poker in the jungle?
A. Because there are so many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A. He wanted his quarterback.

Q. What did the egg say to the other egg?
A. Let’s get cracking!

Q. How do you stop an Elephant from charging?
A. Take away his credit cards!

Q. What is the strongest animal?
A. A snail; he carries his house on his back.

Q. Why was the broom late?
A. He over-swept!

Q. What does a tree do when he’s ready to go home?
A. He leaves!

Knock Knock!
Who’s There?
Who who?
What are you, an owl?

Knock Knock!
Who’s There?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo, owls go who!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Radio who?
Radi-o not, here I come!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Queen who?
Queen as a whistle!

Knock Knock
Who’s there!
Dozen who?
Dozen anyone want to let me in!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Omelet who?
Omelet smarter than I look!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Water who?
Water you doing in my house?

I Disclose

I Don’t Miss These Moments

Since I was the Stay At Home Mom it was primarily my job to handle nighttime feedings. I had the whole schedule down. The pillows would be arranged in the right spot to support my arms and back, the bottles were always premade in the fridge and the tv remote was handy as was the notebook and pen to track time and ounces consumed.

While I was organized to make 3 am feedings effortless that didn’t mean they were easy. I often feel asleep during the feeding only to find a zonked out but soaking wet baby in my arms. The worst moments were when I just gave up the organization and stayed in the rocking chair with the baby and slept straight through to the next feeding.
Evenflo has been bringing humor to the plight of parenthood and compiling some statistics so we all know we aren’t battling alone.

  • 27% of moms are so tired that they’re actually concerned they might fall asleep during the feeding itself. Thirty-five percent of women surveyed admitted to waiting only about 10 minutes after feeding (vs. the recommended 20) to lay their babies back down if they hadn’t burped, and an additional 23% say they were too tired and waited only a few minutes.
  • a whopping 74% of moms reported the responsibility lay with them, while only 5% reported having a set schedule with their spouse to share the responsibility.

While Rob may not have been big at nighttime bottles he’s making up for it now with the kids early morning wake up call on the weekends. The one trait that I don’t mind them getting from him is the ability to rise at the first show of sunlight; that’s only because Rob does the same thing.  How did you handle the dreaded nighttime feedings?  Got stories or advice to share?



I Disclose

Need a little crafting inspiration?

I know a lot of our readers are crafty and talented. Whether it’s baking, sewing, photography or kids crafts we have a some skill.  But I also know that we all suffer from inspiration block sometimes. What gets you over that hump?  What gives you a renewed love of your “craft”?

Peek at this video, see if it helps 🙂

Leslie Hall has been around for a LONG time. She’s originally know as the Gem Sweater girl but can more recently be seen on Yo Gabba Gabba.  Her videos are odd as well as her wardrobe but if she can make a career out of this strange character and behavior than more power to her. She isn’t hurting anyone, she isn’t offending anyone. I take more offense to music artists and the lyrics they sing degrading people and situations in the world.



I Disclose

You say tomato….

Shae and I have been working on letter recognition and rhyming. I know some letter combinations are tough but here is Shae just flat out refusing to give it a try; oh and torture me also.

I was already a fan….

but this video solidifies how cool the Black Keys are.  This is the music video for their hit Tighten Up and it had me smiling from the beginning. Cool music all around.

Our Kids Are As Simple As They Come

The time was 7:45pm. Shae had just gone to bed and Rob and Shaun just came home from cub scouts.  Rob came into the bathroom where I was about to jump into the shower to tell me about what he had just experienced.

Shae was standing on her bed, curtain pulled back, blinds opened looking out the window to see if it was sunny out. She was only in bed about 10 minutes. Rob tells her, “Mom, does not put you to bed when the sun is still out.” “Oh, ok” and she got back in bed.

Shaun was standing in the bathtub, no water running, peeing down the drain.  He got busted, stopped midstream and headed over to the toilet to finish his business.

Welcome to the insanity.

Keep the Kids away from the tools

This is what happened when we let Shaun use a $40 shovel to build his fort. He let the shovel slip into the street where he said he heard a car run over it. Sabreena said he was running around the field looking all over for it. The idiot that ran over it is probably sitting on the side of the road with a flat right now.

To Be Six Again

I don’t normally post jokes but this one from my sister I found especially funny.

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Banshee Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was spinning and her stomach was upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie where he ordered popcorn, a soda, and her favorite candy.

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being six again?’

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

‘I meant my dress size, you dumbass!!!!’

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is still gonna get it wrong.

It’s that kind of day

Poor Rob woke up not feeling in the mood to go to work. I’ve been feeling a bit crappy and Shae has that nasty barking cough that says welcome winter.  He thought he would be nice and stay home and take care of us (and my niece Madi who comes everyday).  He started off checking out Shae’s humidifier (love this thing)to see if it needed a new  filter.  Upon putting it back in the closet the shelf came crashing down spilling the entire contents onto the floor.

shae's closet disaster

Last night our cable box was acting up and this morning he has to spend time calling Verizon to get it replaced. His less than 2 year olf Compaq laptop isn’t charging properly so he has to take that to get looked at.  One of my mother’s rings is missing a stone so he’s taking that to the jewelry store to get replaced. All of these things on top of the filter that was his original errand and now a stop at Trader Joes.

I was nice and made him a nice breakfast before sending him on his way 🙂 I know he wishes he had just gone to work.

The Swagger Wagon

This is marketing genius even if it’s embarrassing to watch 🙂

Seriously, I want this car now.  I love my van but these ads do their job and really make me want to run out and buy one.